Writing practice with Ayub


Because of my increased frequency of writing (not just in this blog), then it is the time to get more personal to you, my reader. 🙂

*assertNotNull(reader); unit test pass. YEYYY, I assumed I have readers*

In the future, I will introduce you to my family member. Just with their nick name of course. The reason is, sometimes I found them very funny, and this writing also to document any silly things that occurred, even though it is rarely worth to write.

For this post, I will talk about my youngest bro. I really love to chat with this little dude. He has lots of curiosity. And since my father had passed away, I have to fill the role of father figure for him. I talk to him about things I know.

I tried so hard to talk with him about things so that it can be adsorbed by a 15 years old mind. Sometimes I’ll glad if for the first time he understands what I am saying.

He just reviewed the Chapter 7 of my novel blog. He said it has lots of typos and the story is not too fun. So, this time, I need to get him to sit next to me. To talk about things he don’t understand and explain what bothers him regarding the story.

I told him that the typos were as a result of a ‘smart’ text editor I used. It sometimes change Indonesian word to English one. As for story, I explain that this chapter, even when it is not fun, it is important for the expansion of the existing plot while the fun part is not a target. It is just a tool to have fun with the characters. He agreed and he happy it has the chapter.

Later, I introduced him with the editor. It is IA Writer, an OS X app. It has four flows of writing. Note, Write, Edit, and Read. I tried to make illustration about the process, so I asked. “What story you want to make?” “Hmmm,” he thinks.

“Oke, lets start to take a note about what we want to write,” I proposed and start to type.

Ibu memanggil ayub
ayub memecahkan piring
bang onel marah karena mama teriak-teriak
bang echon pusing karena lagi ngoding orang rumah pada ribut.

“In this flow. You are free to jot anything you want to make people to read.” I said more to him. “It doesn’t need to be good at first, at least you got the idea.”

“Ok,” he replied.

Now I start to describe the Write flow.

“This is the phase when we are serious to choose the final idea.” I started to elaborate each line. It resulted as this:

“Ayub, cuci piring sana,”
“Iya mama apa sih,” kata Ayub ngelawan.
“AYUB, CEPET GA,” Bang onel pun

“Ribut semua, diam ga atau ga gw kasih belanja,” ancam Bang Echon

Mereka pun akhirnya tenang, dan mama pun belanja.

He laugh a bit, because he has such experience about the situation.

“So, when you write, try to make an illustration of real world experience. It doesn’t need to exactly accorded to the note” said I.

Now we go to Edit flow. “This is the exciting part, we wrote all things until it is ready for reader to read.” We discuss the part and we arrange all letters into these:

“Ayub, cuci piring sana,” kata mama berteriak.

Sudah dua puluh kali mama berteriak, tapi Ayub masih tidak bergeming. Ayub masih sangat santai main Dota (Dota 1 pula).

“Iya mama apa sih,” kata Ayub ngelawan.

Mama pun memperbesar amplitudo dari gelombang suaranya. Suaranya itu membuat keseluruhan rumah bergetar. Ayam jago orang depan pun bertelor saking kerasnya.

“AYUB, CEPET GA,” Bang onel pun dengan naik pitam terbangun dengan marahnya. Dia marah seperti seorang kue donat yang tengahnya selalu disisakan. “Aku kesal,” kata kue donat.

“Ribut semua, diam ga atau ga gw kasih belanja,” ancam Bang Echon

Mereka pun akhirnya tenang, dan mama pun belanja.

After I finished the illustration, his laugh bursted out into the air. Me too fall into laughter. As I showed my older brother the writing result, he too got the laughter because it really resembles some event in one of our morning. We reviewed the writing. Why we laugh? Is this writing fun? “Yes,” he replied. Then I start to talk about him the key to make the story fun.

  1. It resembles our experience:
    • he sometimes play dota 1 a lot, being called by mother until she got pissed off)
    • My older brother sometimes got pissed off when my mother got pissed off
    • I provide day to day groceries
  2. The writing tries the metaphor of situation by comparing the loud noise so that a cock laying eggs or mad like a doughnut mad because of its center always left out. They are not make any sense of good metaphor. This is why they laugh.
  3. The climax is exaggerating of the groceries impact to calm down the situation

I told my little bro, that the punch line is perfect, because it resolves all possible conflict with just a sentence. That is in order to have groceries, all family members cooperate to have a conducive situation: Ayub do the dishes, so that my mother calm down, and my older brother got calm too.

I also told him to always pay attention to Indonesian language. Choose word, knit them into beautiful of stories in our local taste. It is nice to have our language being used in stories. Because, even when there is a good Indonesian writer targeted English user. That writer won’t get recognized, a bit. Except if she or he is the next J.K. Rowling. But, if he or she focused on their own language, he or she will have all the possible expression. The readers will got the same joke and have close relation with the written piece.

He agreed, and I hope I give a good lesson for him.